Mystic Melee EP1 [Mystic Mayhem] Transcript

[Opens on city scene; a crowded sidewalk. Two small, doglike creatures races between pedestrians legs.]

Pedestrians "Hey! Huh? What the -? Easy there! Come on!"

[Yelling.]

[Chasing the creatures are two big, hulking men, who shove pedestrians out of the way. One of the creatures knocks a bunch of flags to the sidewalk and men slow down to tiptoe between them, avoiding stepping on the flags. The creatures runs between a delivery guy and street vendor.]

Delivery Guy "Not cool, dude!

[Men knock him down.]

You gotta watch where you’re going, man!"

[The creatures runs down an alley and encounters a wall.]

Man 1 "This way."

[The creatures turns to see two men approaching, hands out menacingly. They leap, but the creature glows and suddenly vanishes. The men hit the ground and creatures reappears far behind them. It runs off and the men stand, growling. Cut scene to rooftop, where a party is taking place. The man tosses briefcase full of money onto table in front of rich man, who laughs. Above and behind them, atop of roof spire, are four figures They leap All landing on building ledge. One shoots cable across to metal beam on building on the other side of the rich man’s party. Attaches other end of cable to the wall next to her.]

Unknown female "

[into communicator]

Purple submarine, are we clear?"

Female "

[off-screen]

Affirmative, Project Pink."

Unknown female "Copy.

[Turns to sisters.]

Right, girls, it’s go time."

[All attach clamps to cable and begin sliding across. Below them, rich man is still laughing. The Leader holds up her hand as a signal. There is screeching sound, but all four glide right over the party. Approach a building next to it and the leader points down. All jump from the cable. Then from the shadows reveal four mutant sisters.]

Peachy "Cow –"

Fruity "A –"

Lilac "Bun –"

Amethyst "Ga!"

All "Cannonball!"

[Land in pool. Water flies up in a huge jet. Trin yells triumphantly and holds out phone only to be drenched in water.]

Trin "Yaaa!"

[All dancing and whooping in the now empty pool.]

Fruity "Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride."

Lilac "Well, based on our velocity and entry angle . . . I concur. We rad."

Trin "You guys crushed it. Gimmee five!

[All leap out to join her.]

Or three."

Amy "Couldn’t have done it without you Trin. Our girl with the plan."

Peachy "And keys to the roof."

Fruity "Let’s go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park."

Trin "Game on! Just one thing first.

[Tosses two warning signs on ground.]

“Wet floor” and “Dry pool”. Our work is done here. Amy, can I hitch a ride."

Amy "No problem."

[Amy immediately allows Trin to ride on her back; and they lift off from the rooftop, followed by the other three sisters. As Amy is jumping down, she spots the little doglike creatures, who are shivering and whimpering in a construction yard.]

Amy "Aww."

[Slams face first into a building.]

Trin "Oof"

"Oh!

[Crawls up to roof.]

Hey, hey guys, hold up.

[Points down at creatures.]

Poor things looks lost.

[Jumps down and others follow. Lands heavily behind the creatures and startles them.]

Hey little guys,

[baby talk]

what’chu doing here? Mm, mm, come to big Amie.

[Others laughing.]

What? Pets love me all right? I am at one with the animals."

[The Creatures growls and leaps at Amy's face, clawing her up and then jumps into Trin's arms. One of them begins licking her.]

Trin "Aww. I didn’t get this drenched from the cannonball."

Fruity "It looks so weird. What is it?"

Lilac "Maybe it’s some kind of nuclear St. Bernards."

[Lilac touches small globe attached to their collars. Angry scoff draws their attention to two figures nearby. All gasp.]

Amy "Oooh! Humans!

[All four turtles duck behind April as he whispers.]

Initiate plan ZA."

[Amy, Peachy, Fruity come out of hiding.]

Peachy "Um, excuse me kind sirs. Can you direct us to the local science fiction convention that we are currently dressed for?"

Fruity "Stylish alien outfits, huh?"

Lilac "

[stepping in front of Fruity]

We are just typical, normal human girls who got lost in the middle of our normal, everyday human lives. Nailed it."

Peachy "

[whispering to Lilac]

Bro, you gotta make it to rehearsal."

Man 1 "Give to me creatures. How you say . . . Pretty please . . . Or I’ll destroy you."

Amy "Really? You think you’re gonna step to our friend? Rookie mistake, hoss."

Trin "And if you step to my friends for stepping to you for st-stepping to me? You’re gonna have to step to me. Alright?"

Man 1 "You do not intimidate us, with or without your fake nerd voices."

Lilac "That was actually my real voice."

Amy "Well, ya'll better get intimidated, ‘cause we’re like nothing you’ve ever seen."

Lilac "What’s wrong with my voice?"

Man 1 "Hm?"

[Both men start to glow and purple stuff flows around their bodies.]

Sisters and Trin"Whoa! No way!"

Fruity "Woww."

Amy "Flashing fiddlesticks!"

[Sisters and Trin react as men begin to transform into huge monsters astride monstrous dogs. Garm and Freki]

Peachy "So . . . You guys from Jersey?"

Lilac "Seriously, Chi-Chi?"

Peachy "What? I can’t make a joke in the middle of the craziest thing ever? That’s how I cope."

Amy "Whatever.

[All sisters pull their weapons.]

This is our chance to finally use these babies. Weapons ahoy!"

Lilac "We agreed to reserve “ahoy” for ship based adventures, pal, please."

[Dogs snarling and barking race towards them.]

Lilac "Guys, I got this.

[Dagger expands. She throws it at oncoming bad guys.]

[It begins going completely off coarse missing the bad guys.]

Ah, no, n . . . oh, no, no. That’s so bad."

Trin "

[One of the creatures hisses and disappears.]

Dog thingy!"

[Creature reappears in the air, clamps mouth on to the runway knife, and blinks out while holding staff. Appears above Lilac and drops with dagger into her hand.]

Lilac "Hey, it plays fetch.

[Blinks out again and returns to Trin.]

And teleports, which is . . . oh, my god, it teleports!"

[One of the monsters points their weapon at Lilac and it begins to glow. There is a zapping sound.]

Lilac "Ah!"

[Lilac crashes into a pile of cinderblocks.]

Trin "Lillie!"

Lilac "Pro tip, the inexplicable glow-y wave – extraordinarily painful."

[Groans.]

Amy "All right, Fruity, you take the one that looks like an outta wack toaster. I’ll take the guy that looks like a old fashioned trash can."

Fruity "

[Weapon comes down in front of Amy, throwing her backwards.]

They literally look exactly the same,

[monster chases Amy and Fruity starts to run, looking behind her]

and they don’t look like either of those things!

[Dog creature chases Fruity.]

Eek!"

Peachy "Hey, where are you going?

[Snarling sound makes her look back over her shoulder. Other monster is astride a dog creature.]

You had to ruin cannonball day.

[Rushes at monster.]

Ooh-ho-ho-ho!

[Metallic ringing as she swings her weapons, then flash of light. When image clears, Peachy is standing there with two broken swords. Moans.]

My swords!"

[Monster laughs and Peachy flings the swords hilts at his head, connecting with his helmet. Monster snarls.]

Peachy "

[Jumping around.]

I don’t need weapons to beat you! I got my rad skills!"

[Jumps onto side of concrete truck and flips in the air beneath monster’s weapon, and then falls flat on her face. Cut to Amy who takes a hit and slides backwards. Fruity leaps down next to her.]

Amy "Fruity, stealth mode!"

[Both ease back into the shadows. Monster growls and then lifts weapon, pointing it at Fruity, who is clearly visible behind a steel girder. Amy is still hidden above her.]

Fruity "Okay, uh... I think he can still see me.

[Monster blasts them.]

Ah! Plan double-X!"

Amy "Great idea!

[Fruity retracts back into her shell and Amy grabs her.]

Sister canon!"

[Throws Fruity at monster, but it reaches up and catches her. Fruity’s limbs appear and she pulls nunchucks, shouting as she spins them. Begins striking the monster’s arm, but it doesn’t budge as the nunchucks bounce off and hit Fruity.]

Fruity "Ho! Ha! Ho! Take that!

[Fruity’s face is all puffy and bruised as she stops swinging.]

Had enough yet?"

[Monster releases Fruity into a flowing purple orb and flings her away. She loses her grip on the nunchucks, which the monster catches in one hand and crushes.]

Fruity "My ‘chucks!"

Amy "Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone my size!"

[Pulls tegaki as bell dings. They are facing off. Monster snaps his finger and dog leaps at Amy, who runs screaming. Dog clamps onto her head, flings her around, and then throws her. She hits the dirt and begins coughing. Reaches for her tegaki, which is sticking up from the ground, but a purplish blast hits her weapon and disintegrates it, and then the other one which is nearby. Amy lets out a high-pitched squeal. Monster hits her and throws her atop Lilac, who is lying on top of Fruity and Peachy.]

Trin "Hey,

[bricks smashes against monster’s chest]

trash can and toaster face! If you know what’s good for you,

[picks up brick]

you’ll leave my friends

[monsters lifts hands and orb forms around the little doglike creatures they saved]

alone. What the –

[Creatures tries to teleport out of orb, but can’t. With a wave of his hand, monster pulls orb through air towards it, but Trin hangs on.]

No!"

[Monster grabs orb from Trin, and then blasts her backwards.]

Garm "I have the agents and the vial. Hyah!"

[Spins around and gestures. A giant M appears on the brick wall nearby and an opening appears.]

Sisters "Whoa!"

Delivery guy "

[Rings bicycle bell and turtles moves aside.]

Sweet shortcut. Wait! This is not a shortcut!"

[Rides right into the opening and falls far through a glowing tunnel, screaming.]

Lilac "Good to know."

[Doggies whine and monster rides into opening.]

Trin "Doggy thingys!"

[Gives chase.]

Amy "Hey!

[Sisters chase her.]

Trin! No!

[Wall closes after Trin enters. Amy slams face first into bricks.]

Oh! Trin!"

Peachy "I think she’s okay, ‘cause there’s no, like, Trin bits on the ground."

Amy "

[Looks on other side of the brick wall.]

Hey, Trin, are your bits on the other side of the wall? How do we get her out of there?"

[Looks at Lilac.]

Lilac "And, equally important, where is “there”?"

Fruity "

[Standing and staring at the giant M on the wall. Snaps her fingers.]

Oh, hey! I’ve seen this before! In fact, we all have.

[Scene pulls back and then returns to an object on a shelf in the lair.]

In Trin’s do-not-touch cabinet."

[The sisters easily grab the object now that Trin's not there.]

Lilac "A few hours ago I would’ve called this foolish and impossible. Now I just call it foolish."

Fruity "Say what you want, Lilac. Amy’ll pull it off, ‘cause if she doesn’t, we’ll lose our best friend forever."

Peachy "Fruity, don’t say that. You know she chokes under pressure."

Lilac "Chi-Bu, she’s even more self-conscious when you talk about it."

Fruity "And then you can smell her fear."

Amy "

[Getting more nervous as they talk, finally spins on them.]

Stop talking about my fear stink!"

[Dramatically points compass at wall but nothing happens. Pushes it closer and shakes compass, but nothing happens. Punches the bricks repeatedly while sisters look on.]

Amy "Come on! Stupid wall!

[Throws compass at it. It bounces back to hit her and she falls.]

Darnnit."

Fruity "How about we let the artist take a crack at it?"

[Has caught the compass.]

Peachy "I say give her a shot. I mean, she can’t do any worse, respectfully."

Amy "Hey."

[Fruity approaches wall and holds compass close to it. The pointer starts spinning and a glow appears, creating a matrix. Fruity cries out triumphantly and quickly draws the M on the wall. The opening appears and he gazes down through the glowing tunnel.]

Lilac "You beautiful fools. It worked!"

Amy "All I had to do was believe in myself."

Peachy "Okay, uh, what do we do now?"

[All looking at Lilac.]

Lilac " [she shrugs] Cannonball!"

[Leaps into tunnel. Sisters follow.]

All "Cannonball!"

[Fall through and land on ground below with pained grunts, except for Peachy, who lands on her feet.]

Peachy "Land safely . . . aha! Oh, whoa!"

All "

[Expressing amazement as they look around at a strange world full of creatures.]

Whoa, whoa!"

Fruity "I can smell Amy’s amazement stink."

All "Whoa. This is crazy."

Lilac "Exactly what I expected."

Amy "Are you kidding me?"

Trin "Psst.

[They turn around.]

Hey, guys, over here."

Fruity "Trini!"

[Rush to her and all hug.]

Amy "Missed you!

[They separate.]

Lilac, where are we?"

Lilac "According to my calculations, we are in a tertiary meta-verse."

Trin "Actually, I’ve been exploring, and we’re in a magical hidden city deep under New York!"

Lilac "That was my second guess."

Fruity "Whoa."

Peachy "So where are the dog thingys?"

Trin "They're in there."

[All look towards round structure high up on hill. Scene cuts to metal door sliding open and the group is standing there. All gasp and make amazed noises.]

Lilac "Look at the color scheme. Whoa, I’d love to do my room in this style."

Amy "Hey, there’s the little guys. And the delivery guy too!"

[Dog thingys and delivery guy in separate cages. Dog thingy keeps trying to portal out, unsuccessfully.]

Peachy "We gotta help them get out!"

Trin "

[Stops Peachy as she starts to jump down to floor below.]

Someone’s coming."

[Baron Draxum appears, stopping in front of the cages.]

Delivery Guy "If you’re the guy that keeps calling about the calamari, fine, it’s pig butts! But the crab cakes are real."

Draxum "I assure you, I have no interest in your petty cakes of crab."

[Small creature leaps from Draxum’s shoulder onto the front of the cage.]

Muninn "But we would love to hear more about those pig butts."

Delivery Guy "Ah!"

Draxum "

[Squats in front of dog thingy’s cage and reaches inside.]

So nice of you to return my vial.

[Yanks globe off its neck and approaches the delivery guy again.]

You are about to be part of an experiment that will change the very nature of humanity."

Delivery Guy "All right!"

[Draxum uncorks the globe and pours green liquid contents into a giant tank full of Oozesquitoes. Liquid flows up to cylinder and electricity begins to spark of tubes.]

Trin "This dude looks like trouble."

Amy "Yeah, and if I’ve learned anything from “Jupiter Jim” movies, glowing green usually equals bad."

[Green liquid multiplies in size and Oozesquitoes begin drinking it. Draxum extracts one of the Oozesquitoes from the container and walks back to caged delivery guy.]

Delivery Guy "So . . .

[Draxum gestures and cage walls turn into vines which wrap around delivery guy and lift him up.]

is this gonna hurt?"

Draxum "It will . . . if I’m doing it right."

[Oozesquito latches on to delivery guy’s face and pumps green liquid into him. Leaves a red dot on his forehead.]

Delivery Guy "Hey, that wasn’t so – oh, ow. Okay, this part hurts.

[Begins transforming.]

This part – oh! This part hurts. Ah, that hurts! Oh!"

Peachy "What’s happening to him?"

Trin "That is all kinds of messed up."

[Delivery guy is transformed and making gurgling noises. The sisters and Trin react with groans and grimaces.]

Lilac "Yeah, jury’s in. That was imitation crab."

Delivery/Crab Guy "I just got used to acne. Now this?"

[Screams and runs out of the room.]

Muninn "

[Laughs.]

Should we go after him, boss?"

Draxum "The mutation worked, just like it did all those years ago."

Amy "Mutation? You mean like us?

[Gasps.]

Could we be –"

Fruity "Part imitation crab?"

Lilac "

[Laughs and then sobers.]

You are not kidding, are you?"

Draxum "

[Standing over doggys' cage.]

I’ll deal with you two next."

Trin "We can’t let that sheep-horned weirdo do anything to those dogs!"

Peachy "But except for Liller, we’re out of weapons."

Lilac "Note to you, next time, steal higher grade weapons."

Fruity "Girls, who needs weapons? We’re ninja thieves! Peachy’s got her mad skills, nobody's faster than Pinkie Pie, Lilac’s got her stealthy skills, and I got, uh –"

Trin "A friend who knows where there’s a room full of weapons."

Peachy "Ah, thank goodness. We were so dead."

[Music plays as Trin pushes a button and all fall through the floor.]

All "

[Gazing into huge room full of lights and gadgets.]

Ah! No way! Whoa!"

Peachy "

[Grabbing a pair of swords.]

Ho, oh, oh, yeah!"

Fruity "

[Finds and spins nunchucks.]

These’ll have to do."

Amy "Hey, yo, guys! How about we take the shinin' ones?"

[Amy points at spot where glowing weapons float in the air. Peachy and Fruity’s eyes widen and they drop their weapons and run to the new ones.]

Peachy "Oh, dibs on the sword.

[Grabs katana and swings it.]

Oh, yeah baby!"

Fruity "

[Grabs nunchaku.]

Booyah!"

Amy "

[Grabs Tegaki and waves them in the air.]

Just like the good old days!"

[Last thing floating is a mystic staff. Trin grabs it and holds it out.]

Trin "What about you, Lillie? Don’t you want a glow-y weapon?"

Lilac "No, I’m good.

[Hugs her dagger.]

I’ll never let you go. This looks interesting though."

[Lilac touches a purple crystal that’s floating nearby.]

Peachy "Ho, oh, oh, yeah!"

[Three sisters pose with their new weapons.]

Fruity "Let’s go save those puppy things!"

[Back in main chamber, Huginn is poking the dog thingy with a stick and laughing.]

Draxum "Finally, after all these years, I can continue my work."

[Loud banging sound startles him. Sisters and Trin fall through a large pipe.]

Draxum "What?"

Amy "All right, you incredibly, unusually buff bookworm, give us the little guys, and you’ll walk out of here with your horns still attached."

Peachy "Shouldn’t we also stop him from creating crab-men?"

Amy "Ah, good note. Okay, give us the little guy, stop creating crab-men –"

Trin "Imitation crab-men."

[Lilac sighs in exasperation.]

Amy "Okay, good note. Stop creating imitation crab-men . . ."

Sisters start talking all at once "And a ride home, and a limo, with a hot tub and tacos!"

[Draxum is looking at them with stars in his eyes.]

Amy "Stop creating imitation crab-men and you’ll walk out of here . . . ."

Draxum "You’re . . . beautiful."

Fruity "Amy, why don’t you take it from the top again?"

Amy "Here goes. First, you apologize to the dog things –"

Trin "Let’s do this!

[Leaps off balcony, swinging legs in a kick position.]

Peachy "Omigosh! She just ran in."

[Trin lands on one of the dog thingys' cage, begins chewing on vines, straining and grunting as she tries to free him. Huginn and Muninn grab her and fly around room with her trying to beat them off. Draxum throws giant purple vines at the sisters.]

Peachy "

[Sliding around on the vine.]

I hate this! I hate this! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Gah!"

[Draxum throws down pellets and giant robot thing grows up from the floor.]

Fruity "Omigosh!"

Lilac "Whoa, whoa!"

Amy "Dude, seriously?"

Peachy "Ah! It looked at me!"

[Robot grabs all vines together and shakes them, flinging sisters off. Sisters laying on floor groaning and whimpering. Robot roars.]

Lilac "This one’s got a little spice."

Draxum "Capture those specimens!"

Amy "

[Robot charges.]

Cowabunga!"

[Sisters all charge the robot. Peachy swings her sword and slices through a leg. It roars and grabs handful of boulders from floor, throwing them at sisters. Lilac and Amy dodge each missile.]

Amy "Taste this!

[Smashes face first into robot, knocking it down.]

Whoa! Whoa!"

Trin "

[Still flying around overhead.]

It’s okay! I got this!"

Peachy "

[Coughs]

Okay, well, great, and since you’re surrendering."

Draxum "

[Laughs]

Baron Draxum does not surrender."

Fruity "Okay, well, when he gets here, we’ll deal him...oh, ho, ho, I see. You’re doing that whole “sinister talking in the third person” thing."

Amy "Only Amy can use the third person! All right, guys, time to put our training to use."

Peachy "What training? You guys have been training?"

[All rush to attack Draxum. His arms grow huge and he blocks all their strikes. Hits the ground with both fists and the concussion throw the turtles back.]

Draxum "And that’s why Baron Draxum–"

Huginn "

[Falls from above and hits Draxum on the head.]

I’m sorry, boss."

[Lands on ground and beats on Muninn, grabs Huginn in her teeth. Shakes Muninn loose from her leg and stomps on him, giving the sisters a thumbs up. Draxum shoots brownish liquid at her and it wraps her in a cocoon.]

Fruity "You did not just do that to our friend!"

[Throws end of chain at Draxum, but it goes past him and then hangs in the air, the round end spinning. The weapon starts to laugh maniacally.]

Fruity "Whoa. Magic weapon . . . Ah!

[It yanks her forward and then flies around, taking her on a wild ride.]

Whoa! Whoa!"

[She hits a section of the ooze tank and breaks it. Fruity is yelling and screaming, as the end of her nunchaku still laughs and turns into a flaming face. Draxum jumps aside just before it hits him, and Fruity lands hard.]

Peachy "Fruits, that was awesome. How’d you do that?"

Fruity "I don’t know. I was just swinging my weapon, like this, and all of a sudden . . .

[end flames on again and laughter begins.]

Just like tha –a-a-a!"

Amy "Let me try. Magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon!

[Tegaki start to spark.]

Aw, yeah! Magic weapon!

[It explodes and knocks her down.]

Mine works too."

Peachy "Can’t wait to find out what mine does!

[Starts running and sword begins to spark and shift. Draxum lifts arm to block him and Peachy swings without connecting.]

Ya!"

Draxum "

[Looks surprised.]

Hm?"

Peachy "

[Laughs uneasily while sweating. Sword lifted overhead sparks some more and flames up and burns her hand..]

Ouch, ouch! Hot, hot, hot, hot!

[Peachy constantly throw her sword from one hand to the other.]

Ouchy! Ouchy!

Lilac "And that’s why I like fighting the old-fashioned way."

[Begins attacking Draxum, who blocks her strikes. Lilac's dagger becomes double sided and when Draxum swings at her, Lilac ducks so that Draxum hits her knife. It bounces up and smashes him in the face, knocking Draxum backwards.]

Lilac "Just as I planned it!"

[Jumps into air while spinning her knife.]

Fruity "Look out!"

[Smashes into Lilac.]

Draxum "You fight like untrained buffoons, but under me, you could become true warriors!"

[Draxum throws pellets that form cocoons around the sisters. Lilac and Fruity are cocooned together.]

Fruity "We don’t spend enough quality time together."

Lilac "Oh, please not now, Fruity."

Trin "How are we gonna save the dog thingys now?"

Lilac "Lillie’s on it."

[Lilac analyses the area]

Lilac "Wait a second.

[Draxum approaches and startles her.]

Ah!"

Draxum "Why are you trying to stop my plans? We are all in this together!"

Lilac "Ah, hey, I don’t know if this is part of your plan, but the lab’s about to explode."

[Sisters and Trin start hopping around in their cocoons panicking. The tank sparks some more and the starts exploding.]

Draxum "Aw, nuts."

[Boulder lands on him. Tower buzzes and starts falling. All of the Oozesquitoes escape. Tube hits dog thingys' cage and breaks it. They portals away and land on Trin’s lap.]

Trin "Little guy! Can you do your thing and get us out of here?"

[One of the creatures grins and portals Trin and the sisters out of the lab. They wind up just outside of Draxum’s stronghold. Fruity quickly draws the M symbol on a wall and they jump through when it opens. Draxum’s stronghold explodes. Sisters and Trin land safely topside. The compass slides out of Fruity’s hand and breaks.]

Fruity "Oh, no! Your doohickey!"

Trin "It's alright.

[Dog thingys appears above her and lands in her hands.]

Now, are you two okay? You both sure were good through all that mayhem. Hey we gotta name you, we can't just be calling you dog thingys all the time. How about -

[looks at female creature]

Tricky! That’s a cute name huh. And for you -

[Looks at the male creature]

Hmmm, I got it! Cannonball!"

Peachy "We just defeated a boss villain. We’re heroes.

[All strike a pose.]

We deserve a name like Rad Cats."

Lilac "Please refrain from calling us heroes."

Fruity "Rad Cats? I dunno. Teenage Mutant Ninja Sisters be better.

[Oozesquito flies past them.]

All "Huh? Hm."

[Tons of Oozesquitoes fly out of the open mouth behind them as ominous music plays.]

Amy "That can’t be good."

Lilac "We should go. People’s blinds are starting to open."

(Concept art of Tricky)

Mystic Melee EP1 [Mystic Mayhem] Transcript

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